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How to Put my Mother (or Grandmother) in a Nursing Home?


June 21, 2019 0):?> in: Santa Fe Assisted Living Uncategorized

Caring for an aging relative can be a full-time job, and many families decide it's best for their loved one to live in a nursing home. Many senior citizens have special health conditions such as Alzheimer's and dementia, which make it almost impossible to give them the level of care and attention they need while you're raising your own family. 

It's not uncommon for a relative to get upset at the prospect of moving away. When an elderly parent refuses assisted living, you might feel guilty for even considering it in the first place. Although it's not an easy choice, it may be the best one for your loved one.

There are a few ways you can approach the subject and make a decision that leaves everyone happy:

1. Have an Open Conversation

Some elderly parents refuse assisted living because they aren’t given a choice. Although your grandmother or relative may require extra care, that does not mean they are helpless or incapable of making choices. 

It's important not to trivialize an elderly person's emotions. Just because they need assisted living does not mean they shouldn't have a say in where they go. Express your concerns, be open about why you think assisted living would be best and see if you can encourage your grandmother to look at different nursing homes with you. 

2. Talk to a Doctor

If you are your grandmother's primary caretaker, then you probably have the ability to speak with her doctor about her medical conditions and general health. Make an appointment with the doctor. If your grandmother is able to comprehend and participate, allow her. Discuss her general health and explain why assisted care in a nursing home would be the best choice for her wellbeing. 

3. Visit Different Facilities

Take time to tour different nursing homes. Meet the staff and check how the residents interact with them. If you see any elderly people sitting alone for long periods, avoid that home. Talk to nurses, ask about medical services and daily schedules. Meal plans, activities and resources are all important aspects to consider, and you should take your time to make sure that you genuinely feel comfortable of the nursing home you're considering. 

4. Prepare Yourself for the Adjustment

Your grandmother may be angry, sad or even beg you to not put her in a home. It's natural to feel guilt-ridden and even traumatized by the thought of admitting her to a home. But you should let her know that you are doing this for her best interest; you are not taking her there because you want to "get rid" of her; you just want her to be happy and cared for. 

Visit often, at least once a week. Call her on the phone, and make sure she is still actively involved in your life. If you can choose a nursing home that's close to where you live, do so. It will bring your grandmother comfort to know that her family isn't far away, and she may feel less abandoned if she knows that she is only going to be a short distance from her loved ones.

If you're reading this article, you're facing a really challenging situation. We get it, and we are here for you. To continue to support you, check out our article that takes a head-on look at some of the hard truths about putting your loved one in an assisted living facility.  
 

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